Resources

Sexual assault and sexual harassment are forms of sexual harm that happen without someone’s clear, voluntary, and ongoing consent. While laws and policies vary by state or institution, this broader definition is used by many advocacy organizations and trauma support services—including RAINN, WomensLaw.org, and the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.

Sexual assault involves any unwanted sexual contact or behavior. It can include:

• Being penetrated without your consent—including any vaginal or anal penetration with a body part or object, or oral sex involving a penis, even if there was no physical resistance. This reflects the U.S. Department of Justice’s definition of rape.

• Being touched sexually without your consent, such as on the genitals, breasts, buttocks, or inner thighs—whether over or under clothing.

• Being kissed when you did not want to be, especially if pressure, surprise, or intimidation was used to override your boundaries.

• Being forced, manipulated, or coerced into touching someone else sexually, including their genitals or other intimate areas.

• Experiencing an attempted sexual assault, even if the act was interrupted or stopped before it was completed.

• Sexual coercion—when someone uses guilt, fear, blackmail, status, or manipulation (rather than physical force) to pressure someone into sex. If you did not freely want what happened, it was not consensual.

• Reproductive coercion or contraceptive sabotage, including:

  • Pressuring someone to become pregnant or to terminate a pregnancy

  • Lying about STI status or birth control use

  • Hiding, withholding, or tampering with birth control

  • Removing a condom without consent (stealthing)—which is now illegal in several U.S. states

• Being exposed to someone’s genitals or masturbation without consent (exhibitionism)

• Being secretly photographed, filmed, or watched in a sexual context (voyeurism or nonconsensual recording)

• Being “outed” or threatened with exposure of private sexual content (such as images, messages, or identity)
  

You do not need to meet a legal definition of rape or physical violence for your experience to matter. If something felt violating, unsafe, or deeply uncomfortable, you are allowed to name it—and to seek support.

What if it wasn’t physical—but it still hurt?

You are not alone.

Many people may visit this site because of sexual harassment that caused real harm. These experiences often include:

• Repeated or unwanted sexual comments

• Inappropriate or invasive questions

• Being stared at, followed, or cornered

• Receiving sexual messages or photos you didn’t ask for

• Persistent attention that makes you feel unsafe, anxious, or intimidated

• Threats or retaliation when you try to set boundaries or say no

In schools and workplaces, this kind of harassment may violate Title IX (for students) or Title VII (for workers). It does not need to involve physical contact to be taken seriously. If it impacted your safety, dignity, or peace of mind—it matters.

Your rights at school or work

Under federal civil rights laws, many schools and workplaces are required to maintain environments free from sexual harm:

• Title IX applies to most K–12 schools, colleges, and universities that receive federal funding.

• Title VII applies to most public and private employers in the United States.

If your school receives federal funds, it likely must investigate sexual assault or harassment and offer supportive measures, whether or not a formal complaint is filed. Private or religious institutions may be exempt—but you may still be protected under state laws or institutional policies.

If the harm occurred at work, Title VII may give you the right to report it, request accommodations, or initiate an internal investigation. These civil reporting options are separate from the criminal legal system. They are meant to help survivors restore safety, not prove a crime.

Many forms of sexual violence are violations under these laws, including:

• Repeated or unwelcome sexual comments

• Sending or requesting explicit photos or messages

• Touching someone without permission—on any part of the body

• Blocking someone’s exit, following them, or standing too close

• Any sexual behavior that occurs without clear, informed, and ongoing consent
  

You can report what happened to a Title IX coordinator (in school) or Human Resources (in a workplace). These professionals are responsible for helping you understand your rights, even if you choose not to file a formal complaint.

You do not have to prove it “counts” to get support.

Whether you were assaulted, harassed, coerced, filmed, touched, pressured, ignored, or deeply hurt—you are not alone. Your experience is still real. You are allowed to take up space, ask for support, and choose what happens next.

For more information:

• RAINN: What Is Sexual Assault?

• WomensLaw.org: Crimes – Sexual Assault

• National Sexual Violence Resource Center

• U.S. Department of Justice: Definition of Rape

• National Women’s Law Center: Title IX

• U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission: Title VII

• RAINN: Sexual Harassment

• NWLC: Sexual Harassment at Work

Consent is a clear, informed, and freely given “yes” to participate in any sexual contact or behavior. It must be communicated actively and voluntarily—not assumed or coerced. A person can only give consent if they understand what is happening and agree because they genuinely want to.

Consent should be:

• Explicit – clearly communicated through words, gestures, or actions

• Informed – based on an understanding of what is being asked

• Voluntary – free from pressure, manipulation, or fear

• Ongoing – present throughout the interaction and able to be withdrawn at any time

Consent is not present in the following situations:

• Force – when someone is physically held down, restrained, or overpowered

• Inability to consent – when someone is asleep, unconscious, intoxicated, drugged, or otherwise unable to give a clear and informed “yes”

• Coercion – when someone agrees because they fear consequences if they say no. This may include threats of violence, emotional manipulation, financial control, isolation, or repeated pressure

Consent is also not the same as silence or lack of resistance. Someone may:

• Freeze during a traumatic or overwhelming moment

• Be unable to speak due to fear, neurodivergence, or communication barriers

• Feel unsure or confused about what they want

• Say “yes” to avoid danger, not because they truly want to participate

Consent can be communicated in many ways—not just through speech. A nonspeaking person may use sign language, AAC devices, picture boards, gestures, writing, or eye movements to express what they do or do not want. Their boundaries are just as real as anyone else’s. If someone cannot access their communication method, or if their attempt to say “no” or “stop” is ignored, consent is not present.

The responsibility is always on the other person to seek active, clear, and ongoing confirmation of consent. If someone hesitates, becomes quiet, freezes, appears distressed, or stops responding, the correct response is to pause and check in—not to keep going. It is never the survivor’s job to stop the abuse. It is the other person’s responsibility to make sure they have unambiguous permission to continue. If that permission is unclear, withdrawn, or no longer enthusiastic, they must stop.

Being in a relationship, having said “yes” in the past, flirting, or not saying “no” does not equal consent. If someone says “stop,” “wait,” or shows hesitation after initially giving consent—and the other person continues—then consent is no longer present.

Consent must be reconfirmed every time and for every act. What someone agrees to once does not mean they agree again. Agreeing to one thing does not mean they consent to something else.

Sexual harassment is a consent issue, too.

Consent does not just apply to physical acts. It also applies to how someone speaks to you, communicates about sex, or invades your sense of safety. If you were repeatedly objectified, propositioned, followed, stared at, or sent sexual messages you did not want, your boundaries were crossed—even if no one touched you.

These kinds of experiences often fall under sexual harassment, especially in schools or workplaces. But outside of legal definitions, what matters is how it made you feel. If you froze, shut down, second-guessed yourself, or felt like you had to put up with it to stay safe—that is not consent.

You deserve support even if no one laid a hand on you. What happened still mattered. Your boundaries are valid. Your body and your peace of mind deserve respect.

To learn more about consent and its role in healthy relationships, visit:

• NSVRC: Understanding Consent

• RAINN: What Is Consent?

• RAINN: Consent Laws

Sexual assault or harassment can happen to anyone—regardless of gender, sexuality, race, disability, religion, income, age, or background. Survivors are students and employees, friends and family members, leaders and learners. They exist in every kind of setting: schools, workplaces, homes, hospitals, correctional facilities, care programs, and public spaces.

Sexual violence is common. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than 1 in 3 women and nearly 1 in 4 men in the United States have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact in their lifetimes. The Association of American Universities (AAU) found that 1 in 4 college women, 1 in 15 college men, and nearly 1 in 2 transgender, nonbinary, or gender-nonconforming students experience sexual assault or misconduct during their academic careers.

While anyone can experience sexual harm, some people face higher risk because of systemic injustice, power imbalances, or barriers to protection. These risks are not about individual behavior. They are about unequal access to safety, respect, and support.

Survivors include:

• Women and girls, particularly ages 16 to 24, who report the highest rates of sexual violence (CDC NISVS)

• LGBTQ+ individuals, especially transgender, nonbinary, and bisexual people, who face higher rates of assault and harassment in both academic and workplace settings (AAU Campus Climate Survey)

• People with disabilities, including nonspeaking individuals, AAC users, and those who rely on caregivers—who face significantly higher rates of abuse and often lack access to justice or support (Vera Institute of Justice)

• Black, Indigenous, and multiracial people, and others affected by racism, who may be underserved or dismissed when seeking help (CDC NISVS)

• People in financially dependent, undocumented, or immigration-insecure situations, who may be threatened with retaliation, legal harm, or deportation if they seek safety

• People with past trauma histories, such as survivors of childhood abuse, institutional harm, or intimate partner violence, who may be more vulnerable to revictimization

In school environments, survivors may face harm related to isolation, alcohol, unclear boundaries, or inexperience—especially during their first year of college or training. But sexual harm can occur at any level, including high school, graduate programs, and nontraditional or career-based learning.

In workplaces, survivors may remain silent due to fear of retaliation—especially if the person who harmed them holds power or influence. Sexual harassment and coercion are often normalized or dismissed, even when their emotional and professional impact is serious.

People with disabilities are especially vulnerable. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), individuals with disabilities are more likely to experience sexual violence and less likely to be believed. Those who rely on others for communication, care, or mobility may face abusive control that outsiders do not recognize as violence.

To learn more about survivor demographics and risk factors:

• RAINN: Who Are the Victims?

• CDC: National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS)

• AAU Campus Climate Survey on Sexual Assault and Misconduct

• Vera Institute of Justice: Sexual Violence and People with Disabilities

There is no single “right” way to respond to sexual violence. Some survivors speak out immediately. Others wait years—or never tell anyone. Some respond with anger or action. Others go quiet, freeze, or try to move forward silently. Every response is valid.

What happened is never the survivor’s fault. Clothing, behavior, reputation, or past experiences do not cause sexual assault or harassment. Only the person who chose to harm is responsible. Every survivor deserves to be safe, to be believed, and to be treated with care.

Just as sexual assault or harassment can happen to anyone, they can also be committed by anyone. A perpetrator may be someone the survivor trusts, admires, depends on, or barely knows. They can hold any gender identity, age, role, or background—and may be seen by others as successful, friendly, or respected.

That said, most perpetrators are men. According to RAINN, 98% of female survivors and 93% of male survivors report that the person who harmed them was male. These are patterns, not absolutes. They should never be used to stereotype men or erase harm in LGBTQ+ relationships or other gender configurations.

Perpetrators may include:

Acquaintances

These are people the survivor knows—such as coworkers, classmates, professors, mentors, supervisors, neighbors, or friends. In college settings, 80–90% of assaults are committed by someone the survivor knows, according to the U.S. Department of Justice. In workplace settings, many survivors report being harassed or harmed by someone in a position of power or with social influence.

Intimate partners

This includes current or former dating partners and spouses. Over half of acquaintance-based sexual assaults on college campuses are committed by a partner or ex. In relationships, sexual harm is often part of a larger pattern of abuse, such as gaslighting, coercion, stalking, or physical violence. Sexual harassment can also occur within intimate partnerships, especially when boundaries are not respected or safety is undermined.

Strangers

Although less common, some perpetrators are not known to the survivor. These incidents may involve:

• Blitz attacks – sudden and often violent assaults in isolated spaces

• Contact-based luring – grooming or manipulation to create a false sense of safety

• Home invasions – entering a survivor’s home or personal space without consent

Sexual harassment perpetrators

Sexual harassment may be committed by anyone—peers, supervisors, subordinates, customers, clients, or strangers. It can include unwanted sexual comments, repeated advances, inappropriate jokes, gestures, digital messages, or retaliation when a survivor sets boundaries. Perpetrators may claim it was “just a joke,” minimize the harm, or pressure the survivor into silence. These patterns are especially common in academic settings and workplaces.

Common justifications from perpetrators

When confronted, many perpetrators deny what happened or try to shift the blame. Some of the most common excuses include:

• Alcohol or drug use

• “Mixed signals” or miscommunication

• The survivor’s clothing, behavior, or reputation

• “It was just flirting” or “I didn’t mean it that way”

• Stress, mental health struggles, or past trauma

• Neurodivergence or social misunderstanding

Some people commit sexual assault or harassment without fully recognizing that their actions crossed a line. They may have been taught that hesitation means “yes,” that silence is consent, or that sex while drinking is always mutual. Others may cite neurodivergence—such as difficulty interpreting body language or social cues—as an explanation. Still others blame stress, trauma, or emotional dysregulation.

But a lack of understanding does not erase responsibility.

Just as someone can commit digital or emotional abuse without calling it “abuse,” sexual harm can occur even if the person causing it does not name it that way. Intent may vary—but impact does not. Survivors are never to blame.

Having a disability, neurotype, or mental health condition does not make someone abusive. It also does not excuse harm. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, personal struggles do not justify violating someone else’s autonomy, safety, or boundaries. Accountability still belongs to the person who caused the harm—whether their actions were calculated, careless, or shaped by ignorance.

Being under the influence does not remove that accountability, either—just as it would not excuse drunk driving or other serious harm. Consent must be clear, informed, and freely given. If someone is too impaired to agree, says “stop,” appears distressed, or withdraws—continuing is a choice. And that choice has consequences.

Sexual assault and harassment are never the result of “confusion” alone. Even if someone misunderstood consent because of poor education, internalized norms, or communication differences, the harm still matters. These are not harmless missteps—they are violations of bodily autonomy. Intent may influence how someone reflects or responds, but it does not change the fact that a line was crossed. Survivors have the right to name that harm and seek support—no matter what explanation is given.

Why This Matters

Survivors are often doubted because the person who harmed them ‘didn’t seem like someone who would do that.’ But harm is defined by behavior—not by how someone appears to others.

In a 2015 study published in Violence and Gender, nearly 1 in 3 college-aged men admitted they might commit sexual assault if they knew they would not face consequences. This highlights the urgent need for accountability, not just education or intent.

Many perpetrators engage in multiple forms of violence: domestic abuse, stalking, harassment, coercion, and assault. These behaviors are connected, and understanding their full scope helps us better support survivors—and disrupt cycles of harm.

Additional Resources

• RAINN: Perpetrators of Sexual Violence

• NSVRC: Understanding Offenders

• AAU Campus Climate Survey

• Sexual Consent Across Diverse Behaviors and Contexts

Alcohol and drugs are not neutral background details in cases of sexual harm. They are often used deliberately by perpetrators to make someone more vulnerable, override their ability to consent, or create doubt after the fact. These are acts of power and control, not misunderstandings.

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), alcohol is the substance most commonly linked to sexual assault. The U.S. Department of Justice defines drug-facilitated sexual assault as any unwanted sexual act that occurs when a person is too intoxicated to consent—whether they were drugged without their knowledge, pressured to drink, or voluntarily intoxicated.

Substances are often used in environments where harm is easier to overlook or dismiss, including:

• College parties and dorm rooms

• Bars, clubs, and music festivals

• Staff gatherings, industry events, or workplace meetups
  

Some perpetrators intentionally:

• Drug someone without their knowledge (e.g., with Rohypnol, GHB, ketamine, or spiked drinks)

• Encourage or pressure someone to drink or use drugs past their comfort level

• Wait until someone is impaired to initiate unwanted sexual contact

• Use someone’s intoxicated state to rationalize harassment, coercion, or assault

These actions are not accidents—they are choices.

Even when someone does not fully understand that their behavior is harmful, the impact on the survivor is real. A person’s intentions do not erase the trauma they cause. As WomensLaw.org explains, many states consider any sexual contact with a person who is too intoxicated to consent to be a form of assault—regardless of whether drugs or alcohol were used voluntarily or involuntarily.

Sexual harassment also escalates in substance-fueled environments. Perpetrators may use someone’s intoxication to:

• Make repeated sexual comments

• Violate personal boundaries

• Send or request explicit photos

• Coerce someone into sexualized conversations or spaces

Even without physical contact, these actions can cause lasting harm. Both RAINN and the National Women’s Law Center confirm that harassment under the influence is still harassment.

Common questions — and what people need to know

“But you’ve had sex while drunk before—was that all assault?”

That depends on whether you were able to clearly and freely say yes. Some people have had consensual sex while drinking—but that only happens when all parties remain able to understand what is happening, communicate boundaries, and give voluntary agreement. If someone is too impaired to provide clear, informed, and ongoing consent, it is not consensual—regardless of past experiences. RAINN and WomensLaw.org affirm that intoxication often removes the legal capacity to consent.

“What if both people were drunk?”

Intoxication is not automatically mutual just because two people have been drinking. The key issue is whether one person was too impaired to give meaningful consent—and the other person either ignored that or used it to their advantage. According to WomensLaw.org, consent is not valid if a person is incapacitated, even if they never said “no.” Intoxication is never an excuse for crossing another person’s boundaries.

“What if they seemed fine at the time but called it assault later?”

Many survivors do not realize what happened until hours, days, or weeks later—especially if they experienced confusion, memory gaps, or delayed emotional processing. This is a normal trauma response, especially in cases involving drugs or alcohol. Freezing, dissociation, shock, and regret are all documented in studies such as the AAU Campus Climate Survey and the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS). The absence of immediate resistance does not mean there was consent.

A note about intent and accountability

Some people commit sexual assault or harassment without realizing that what they are doing is a violation. They may have been taught that hesitation means “yes,” that silence equals consent, or that intoxicated sex is always mutual. But just like someone who takes a partner’s credit card without realizing it is abuse, not knowing better does not erase the harm. If someone initiates sexual contact without a clear, informed, and voluntary yes, that is not consent—and it is still assault.

We say this not to excuse the behavior, but to challenge the norms and misinformation that lead to it. A lack of education around consent is a societal failure. But the responsibility still belongs to the person who crossed the line.

The bottom line

You are not responsible for someone else’s decision to harm you.

It does not matter whether you were drinking, using drugs, or intoxicated by choice or circumstance. The responsibility always lies with the person who chose to ignore your boundaries, exploit your impairment, or fail to seek active, informed consent.

You deserve support, healing, and to be taken seriously.

To learn more or seek support:

• RAINN: Drug-Facilitated Sexual Assault

• RAINN: Definitions of Sexual Assault by State

• AAU Campus Climate Survey

• CDC: National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS)

• RAINN: Sexual Harassment

• National Women’s Law Center: Sexual Harassment at Work

Sexual harm can leave lasting effects—physically, emotionally, socially, and economically. But every survivor is different. While some experience intense trauma symptoms, others may feel numb, confused, or seemingly unaffected. All of these responses are valid. There is no single way to react to being violated.

The effects of sexual harm

According to RAINN, the CDC, and the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, survivors may experience:

• Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts

• Sleep disturbances, including nightmares or insomnia

• Hypervigilance or heightened startle responses

• Depression, anxiety, or panic attacks

• Shame, guilt, or self-blame

• Body-based symptoms, such as pain, gastrointestinal issues, or chronic fatigue

• Dissociation—feeling disconnected from one’s body or surroundings

• Substance use as a way of coping

• Disordered eating or appetite changes

• Self-injury or suicidal thoughts

• Pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections resulting from the assault

These are common trauma responses—not signs of weakness or exaggeration.

College and work-related impacts

Sexual violence can seriously affect a survivor’s ability to function in school or at work. According to the AAU Campus Climate Survey, many college students who experience sexual harm develop PTSD, depression, or substance use challenges, which can lead to:

• Academic withdrawal or failure

• Loss of scholarships

• Delays in graduation or dropping out entirely

When schools lack trauma-informed mental health support, the risk of these outcomes increases.

In the workplace, survivors may:

• Avoid shifts, meetings, or events

• Transfer departments or leave jobs entirely

• Be pushed out through poor evaluations or retaliation after disclosing what happened
  

These impacts are often overlooked, especially when the harm is minimized as “just a joke” or “not that bad.”

Harassment can be traumatizing too

Even when no physical contact occurs, sexual harassment can cause deep psychological distress. According to RAINN and the National Women’s Law Center, repeated comments, coercive messages, or boundary violations can lead to:

• Chronic stress

• Social withdrawal

• Loss of trust or emotional safety

• Fear of retaliation or disbelief

The harm is real—even when others downplay it.

Reactions others find confusing

Some survivors:

• Speak in a flat tone, dissociate, or laugh nervously

• Change their story or remember events out of order

• Stay in contact with the person who harmed them

• Question whether what happened “counts” as harm

These behaviors are not red flags of dishonesty. They are common trauma responses, especially when survivors are navigating shock, coercion, or delayed realization.

NSVRC notes that false reports of sexual assault are rare—just 2–10%, consistent with the rate for other crimes. (NSVRC: False Reporting)

Understanding trauma and neurodivergence

Some survivors are already aware they are neurodivergent before experiencing sexual violence. For others, trauma brings lifelong patterns into sharper focus—such as sensory sensitivity, executive dysfunction, or nonlinear communication—that may lead to a new understanding of their neurotype.

Still others experience lasting changes after the harm, such as PTSD, dissociation, or hypervigilance. These responses may become a form of acquired neurodivergence—not because the survivor was born neurodivergent, but because their nervous system adapted in order to survive. These changes are just as real, and they deserve the same care and respect.

At the same time, some survivors do not experience trauma-related shifts or identify as neurodivergent at all. That does not make their story any less real. What matters is that every survivor is supported based on what they do experience—not what someone else expects them to.

Some examples of how these experiences may overlap—but come from different places:

• Sensory overload may be part of autism, ADHD, or another lifelong neurotype. Trauma can heighten these responses—especially if certain sensations are tied to the harm—but rarely causes brand-new sensory sensitivities unless directly connected to the event.

• Delayed speech, flat tone, repetition, or scripting may reflect neurodivergent communication styles—but can also result from dissociation, shutdown, or emotional overload. These patterns often emerge when someone is trying to regulate or make sense of what happened.

• Difficulty concentrating after trauma is often linked to hypervigilance—the brain staying on high alert for danger. In ADHD, attention challenges stem from different neurological wiring. Both can happen at once. Both are real. Both deserve support.

When care is not both trauma-informed and neurodiversity-affirming, survivors may be misdiagnosed, dismissed, or retraumatized—especially if their experiences do not fit someone else’s model of healing. Whether someone is navigating a lifelong neurotype, trauma-related adaptations, or both, they deserve support that honors who they are and how they process.

Every survivor deserves care that respects their sensory needs, communication style, and emotional reality—without trying to force them into a recovery model that does not fit.

Every survivor's story matters

• Some heal quickly.

• Others carry pain for years.

• Some go to therapy.

• Others create music, write, pray, or find healing in quiet ways.

• Some never report.

• Others are not sure what happened or how to talk about it.

If something harmed your safety, peace, or sense of self—it matters. You do not need to prove it, relive it, or explain it perfectly to deserve support.

There is no timeline for healing, no correct reaction, and no wrong survivor.

What support can look like

At Voicelore, we offer free, music-based programs for survivors (ages 18 and up) of sexual violence, including The Reclaiming, a yearlong peer support experience for those who want to explore expression through singing, songwriting, piano, or music production. Participants will never be required to perform or share unless they want to. All activities will be trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming, and adapted to support a wide range of communication needs.

For survivors not ready to join a full program, The Murmuring offers a softer space—where community events, informal check-ins, and creative gatherings can help reduce isolation and rebuild trust. Whether you are ready to reclaim your voice or simply need a place to be heard, we will meet you where you are. Your voice matters—and however you choose to use it, you are welcome there.

Sources for further reading:

• RAINN: Effects of Sexual Violence

• CDC: Sexual Violence Facts

• NSVRC: Statistics

• NSVRC: False Reporting

• AAU Campus Climate Survey

• Love Is Respect: Self-Care

• NWLC: Sexual Harassment at Work

In the United States, most people who commit sexual harm—whether through assault, harassment, coercion, or boundary violations—face few or no consequences. While some survivors pursue justice through school, workplace, or legal channels, many choose not to report at all. This is not because the harm was minor. It is often because the process is confusing, retraumatizing, or unsafe.

According to RAINN, out of every 1,000 sexual assaults, only:

• 344 are reported to police

• 50 lead to an arrest

• 28 are referred for prosecution

• 25 result in a felony conviction

• And only 19 perpetrators are incarcerated

This means that over 98% of perpetrators walk free, even in reported cases.

At colleges and universities, institutional responses are also deeply inadequate. In a national review, nearly half of colleges reported zero investigations of sexual assault over a five-year period (RAINN). Even when cases are investigated, perpetrators are only expelled less than a third of the time (AAU Campus Climate Survey).

In the workplace, many employers fail to intervene when sexual harassment or assault is reported—especially if the perpetrator holds power or is viewed as “too valuable.” Fear of retaliation keeps many survivors silent, especially those who are neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, disabled, or in precarious financial or immigration situations. According to the National Women’s Law Center, many survivors who do report lose their jobs or face punishment instead of the person who harmed them.

Why so little accountability?

There are many reasons why perpetrators often avoid consequences. One is the impact of trauma itself: many survivors struggle with memory fragmentation, dissociation, or communication challenges—especially those who are neurodivergent or disabled. These trauma responses are frequently misunderstood, dismissed, or used to cast doubt on the survivor’s credibility.

Meanwhile, some police officers and prosecutors do not understand how sexual harm works, especially when coercion, intoxication, or non-stranger dynamics are involved. In some places, survivors have even been arrested or threatened with arrest for “false reporting” despite clear signs of trauma (EVAWI).

Even when cases make it to court, survivors often face invasive questions about their sexual history, mental health, communication style, or behavior—while perpetrators benefit from myths like “mixed signals,” “confusion,” or “just a joke.”

But what about intent?

Some perpetrators know exactly what they are doing. They use substances, social power, manipulation, or grooming to override consent and protect themselves from accountability. Others may not fully understand that what they did was harmful—especially if they were never taught that consent requires a clear, informed, and enthusiastic yes.

But misunderstanding does not make it okay.

Sexual harm is not just a “mistake”—it is a violation of bodily autonomy.

Whether someone acted with intent or ignorance, they still caused harm. Survivors deserve to name what happened, access support, and live without fear. Accountability is not about cruelty. It is about protecting others, supporting survivors, and stopping cycles of abuse.

Sexual harassment must be taken just as seriously

Sexual harassment is a form of sexual harm. It includes:

• Unwanted sexual comments or jokes

• Digital harassment or coercive messages

• Repeated advances after being told “no”

• Exposure, groping, or non-consensual images

• Professional retaliation for setting boundaries

These acts can cause long-term harm to a survivor’s emotional safety, career, education, or mental health. Harassment may not always involve physical contact—but it still causes pain, fear, and trauma. It deserves the same urgency and care as any other form of sexual violence.

Why it matters

When institutions protect perpetrators—by minimizing harm, prioritizing reputation, or encouraging silence—they make survivors feel expendable. They also create environments where harm can continue.

According to a study in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, repeat perpetrators are responsible for the majority of campus assaults, with one analysis estimating that 63% of rapes were committed by serial offenders (Lisak & Miller). This is not just about justice—it is about safety.

What we believe

Sexual violence is not just a “bad decision” or moment of confusion. It is a violation of autonomy, dignity, and safety. Whether it is committed with full awareness or through harmful beliefs and poor understanding of consent, the harm is real—and survivors deserve safety, support, and justice.

At Voicelore, we believe that accountability and education must go hand in hand. Systems that protect perpetrators must be transformed, not just reformed. And prevention cannot begin only after harm has already occurred.

That is why our advocacy branch, The Resounding, will raise awareness and drive cultural change through music—especially in the music industry, schools, and public media. This work will be shaped by both survivors and allies. Together, we will challenge the conditions that allow abuse to continue—and create new ways of speaking, listening, and responding.

The Resounding will include:

• Music releases that name harm, reclaim power, and offer healing truths

• Tours and showcases that center survivor artistry and collective expression

• Soundtracks for action—licensed for use in survivor-led films, PSAs, podcasts, or stage works

• K–12 presentations that use music to explore boundaries, self-worth, and healthy relationships

• College outreach that blends music and dialogue to support student survivors and challenge institutional silence

• Songs that mobilize—written to power movements, petitions, and protests

These efforts will be paired with funding for prevention-focused music education. Through our partnership with Once Upon a Voice—an online studio that teaches singing, songwriting, piano, and music production through a trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming lens—Voicelore will support student projects and scholarships that help young people build the confidence, language, and creativity to express themselves and respect others.

Accountability does not require cruelty. But it does require clarity, action, and change.

Survivors deserve justice. Communities deserve tools. And people deserve to grow up knowing what care, respect, and consent truly look like.

Sources for further reading:

• AAU Campus Climate Survey

• RAINN: The Criminal Justice System

• RAINN: Sexual Violence on Campus Report

• National Women’s Law Center: Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

• EVAWI: When Rape Victims Are Accused of Lying

• Lisak & Miller: Repeat Rape and Multiple Offending Among Undetected Rapists

Domestic and dating violence are patterns of abusive behavior used to gain power and control in an intimate relationship. This abuse can happen between people of any gender, in any kind of relationship—casual, committed, or complicated. It can affect people who live together or apart, who are still in a relationship or trying to leave one.

These patterns may include emotional harm, sexual violence, stalking, physical intimidation, financial control, or digital abuse. Each of these can be serious and damaging on its own. You do not have to be hit or injured for what happened to be abuse.

According to the Office on Violence Against Women, domestic violence includes “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another partner.” When this happens in a dating relationship, it may also be called dating violence.

Abuse is not limited to romantic partners. It can occur in close caregiving arrangements, casual dating, or long-distance relationships. It can affect anyone—regardless of age, gender, disability, or setting.

Forms of domestic and dating violence

These experiences may occur alone or in combination. All are serious:

• Physical violence: Hitting, slapping, choking, grabbing, or restraining someone. It can also include slamming doors, throwing objects, blocking exits, driving recklessly to intimidate, or using body language to threaten.

• Sexual assault or harassment: Pressuring, coercing, or forcing someone into unwanted sexual contact. This includes non-consensual touching, groping, rape, or repeated sexual attention. Consent must be clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing—even in a relationship.

• Emotional abuse: Verbal insults, put-downs, gaslighting, name-calling, controlling where someone goes or who they see, and blaming the survivor for everything that goes wrong.

• Digital abuse: Using technology to stalk, control, or intimidate. This includes reading private messages, demanding passwords, threatening over text, or using location-tracking apps without consent.

• Financial abuse: Controlling money, sabotaging employment, stealing credit, or making a partner financially dependent and unable to leave.

• Stalking: Repeated, unwanted contact or surveillance that causes fear. This may include showing up uninvited, leaving gifts, monitoring social media, or using tracking devices.
  

These behaviors are not always loud or violent. Abuse can build slowly. Many survivors are worn down over time through manipulation, fear, or isolation.

Abuse can happen at school, at work, or at home

Abuse does not stop at the front door—it follows people into classrooms, jobs, and public life.

In schools, survivors may experience:

• Isolation from friends or professors

• Being stalked on campus

• Academic sabotage or pressure to skip class

• Abuse that escalates during school breaks or transitions

In workplaces, abuse may include:

• Threats that follow someone to work

• Harassment from a partner who shows up uninvited

• Financial abuse that affects someone’s ability to get or keep a job

• Manipulation or retaliation if the abuser is also a coworker or supervisor
  

Survivors in both settings often feel afraid to speak up—especially if the person harming them is respected, persuasive, or in a position of power.

Under Title IX (in federally funded schools) and Title VII (in most U.S. workplaces), survivors may have the right to report abuse, request accommodations, or seek protective action.

Learn more:

• National Women’s Law Center – Title IX

• U.S. EEOC – Title VII

• Workplaces Respond

Dating and domestic violence are widespread—and connected to other forms of harm

According to the CDC, nearly 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the U.S. experience some form of intimate partner violence. Rates are even higher among LGBTQ+ people and people with disabilities.

Among college students, reports in the National Library of Medicine confirm:

• Nearly half of students in dating relationships experience abuse (Bloom, et. al)

• 1 in 6 college women experiences sexual assault from a dating partner (Wong, et. al)
  

Abuse often overlaps with other issues, including sexual assault, harassment, and stalking. Understanding these patterns helps us create stronger safety plans and better support systems.

You deserve safety—even if the abuse does not “look like” what others expect

Abuse is not always loud, obvious, or documented. You do not need to be injured or leave your relationship to deserve help. If someone is hurting, scaring, or controlling you—you are allowed to take it seriously.

Whether the abuse is emotional, physical, financial, digital, or something else—you deserve support.

Helpful resources:

• Love Is Respect – 24/7 education and support for teens and young adults (up to age 24) navigating dating or domestic abuse

• National Domestic Violence Hotline – 24/7 support for adults of all ages experiencing domestic or dating abuse, including safety planning and referrals

• WomensLaw.org – Legal information and confidential help tailored to your state and situation

• Workplaces Respond – Guidance and support for workers dealing with harassment or abuse at work

Domestic and dating violence can affect anyone—regardless of gender, sexuality, race, age, disability, religion, immigration status, or income. Survivors include students and teachers, employees and supervisors, caregivers and clients. Abuse happens in private homes, on college campuses, in dorms and classrooms, in hospitals and workplaces, in long-term partnerships and new relationships alike.

According to the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), over 1 in 3 women (36.4%) and more than 1 in 3 men (33.6%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime (CDC NISVS, 2022). Among college students, nearly half of all women in dating relationships report experiencing controlling behaviors, and 1 in 3 college students report having been in an abusive relationship (Women Helping Women).

While anyone can experience abuse, some people face a higher risk because of societal power imbalances, systemic oppression, or unmet access needs. These risk factors do not reflect anything wrong with the survivor—they reflect how society fails to protect everyone equally.

Survivors may include:

• Young adults, especially those ages 18 to 24, who experience the highest rates of intimate partner violence in the U.S. Many in this age group are navigating new freedoms or living away from home for the first time—facing unfamiliar social dynamics, pressure to conform, or limited access to support systems (CDC NISVS).

• LGBTQ+ people, particularly transgender, nonbinary, bisexual, and gender-nonconforming individuals, who are more likely to be targeted due to bias and more likely to be isolated from services due to discrimination or family rejection. Over 40% of LGBTQ+ people report experiencing intimate partner violence, and the rates are even higher for transgender people and bisexual women (Human Rights Campaign).

• People with disabilities, including nonspeaking survivors, AAC users, and those who rely on others for daily support. According to the CDC, nearly 1 in 4 women with disabilities experience severe intimate partner violence. These individuals are often dependent on caregivers or partners for communication access, transportation, or healthcare—giving abusers opportunities for control that go unnoticed.

• People of color, especially Black, Indigenous, and multiracial individuals, who often face racism and cultural bias when seeking help. For example, 45% of Black women experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime, compared to 37% of white women (CDC NISVS). Some avoid calling police or accessing mainstream services due to fears of profiling, dismissal, or community backlash.

• People who are undocumented, navigating immigration systems, or financially dependent on a partner, who may be threatened with deportation, economic harm, or custody loss if they try to leave.

• People with past experiences of abuse, such as child sexual abuse, spiritual abuse, or institutional harm. These survivors may be targeted because they have fewer boundaries, limited trust in systems, or a heightened desire to please or avoid conflict.

In school environments, survivors often face abuse from someone in their same program, class, dorm, or social circle. Many feel pressured to maintain silence due to shared connections or fear of gossip, retaliation, or being disbelieved. First-year students may be especially vulnerable because of inexperience with alcohol, blurred power dynamics, and limited peer support.

In workplace settings, power imbalances and fear of retaliation can trap survivors in silence. An abusive partner might work in the same building or have access to professional or academic spaces the survivor needs to succeed. In some cases, they may even hold a position of authority over the survivor—such as a supervisor, professor, administrator, or manager.

Survivors with disabilities often face unique barriers. Abusers may restrict their use of communication devices, withhold medication, sabotage accommodations, or weaponize caregiving responsibilities. These patterns of control may not look like typical “abuse” to outsiders—but they are just as harmful and dangerous.

Children may also be deeply affected, even when the abuse is not directed at them. They may witness verbal fights, threats, or violence; be used as tools of manipulation; or experience emotional harm from the instability. Whether or not children are directly abused, growing up in a violent or controlling household can have long-lasting effects on their safety, trust, and well-being (CDC NISVS).

Abuse is not always visible or physical. Many survivors experience psychological, digital, or financial control without ever being hit. Others are isolated, gaslit, or manipulated into staying. Some feel love, loyalty, or compassion toward the person who hurt them. Others are still trying to understand what happened. These are all real and valid responses.

If you are currently in an abusive relationship, recently left one, or are still piecing together what happened—you are not alone. You do not need to have left, reported, or defined it clearly to deserve support. You matter, and your story matters.

To learn more about survivor demographics and risk factors:

• CDC: National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS)

• CDC: Sexual Violence and Intimate Partner Violence Among People with Disabilities

• Women Helping Women: Behind Every Number is a Person

• Human Rights Campaign: Understanding Intimate Partner Violence in the LGBTQ+ Community

Abusers are not always obvious. They are not always angry, cruel, or visibly controlling. Some are charming, well-liked, generous, or admired by others. They may be high achievers, community leaders, students, teachers, or caregivers. They might be someone the survivor loved, trusted, or built a life with.

Many people believe abuse only happens in relationships that are always tense or dangerous. But the reality is more complicated. A person can be abusive and still act kind, apologetic, or even affectionate. They may express love or grief, share memories, or say they want to change. This does not excuse what they have done—and it does not mean survivors are imagining the harm.

Some survivors stay because they see the good in the person who hurt them. That does not make them weak. It makes them human.

We are not encouraging anyone to stay in a harmful situation. Safety should always come first. At the same time, it is important to acknowledge that many survivors wrestle with complicated feelings, and those feelings deserve to be met with compassion—not shame.

Abusers can be anyone. They may be current or former partners. They may be people the survivor dated, lived with, or shared commitments with. They may be roommates, co-parents, caregivers, or others with intimate access to daily life.

Some abusers work or study in the same environment as the survivor. Others hold positions of power or authority, such as supervisors, professors, religious leaders, or community organizers. Their reputations can make it harder for survivors to come forward—especially if others see them as kind, helpful, or incapable of harm.

Not all abuse is calculated—but it is still a choice. Some abusers are fully aware of what they are doing. Others do not see themselves as abusive, but their actions still cause harm. Having good intentions does not undo damage. Being a “good person” in public does not erase private control or cruelty.

People who cause harm may blame:

• Alcohol, drugs, or stress

• Mental health struggles, past trauma, or neurodivergence

• “Miscommunication” or “overreactions”

• The survivor’s behavior, clothing, or identity

These are excuses—not explanations. According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, anger, addiction, or trauma may affect someone’s behavior—but they do not justify hurting others. If you were harmed, it is not your fault.

The power and control wheel

Some abusers use ongoing strategies to maintain dominance in a relationship. These patterns are depicted by the Power and Control Wheel, developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project and shared by organizations like Love Is Respect. Instead of following a clear cycle, the wheel illustrates how different forms of abuse—such as emotional manipulation, isolation, intimidation, minimizing, gaslighting, and financial control—can overlap and reinforce one another. Physical or sexual violence may be present, but even when it is not, power and control remain at the center of the behavior.

These tactics can make it hard to leave. Survivors may feel guilt, hope, fear, or even relief. They may stay, not because they are weak, but because abuse is designed to confuse, isolate, and wear down a person’s sense of self and safety.

Outside romantic partnerships

Roommates, family members, and others who live together can still be perpetrators of domestic violence. In many states, cohabitation is enough for the abuse to fall under domestic violence statutes, even if the relationship is not intimate. Survivors in these situations still have the right to protection and support.

To learn more about abuser behavior and patterns:

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline – Why People Abuse

• Love Is Respect – Power and Control

• CDC – Intimate Partner Violence

Leaving an abusive relationship is not always simple or safe. Survivors stay for many reasons—often because they are trying to protect themselves, their children, or their stability. Abuse is about control, and that control can make it incredibly hard to leave.

Some reasons people stay include:

• Fear of harm – Leaving can escalate the danger. Many survivors are threatened with violence, stalking, or retaliation if they try to leave.

• Financial dependence – Some survivors do not have access to money, housing, transportation, or employment. Others fear losing health insurance or immigration status.

• Isolation – Abusers often cut survivors off from friends, family, or coworkers, making it harder to seek help or imagine a life outside the relationship.

• Children or caregiving – Survivors may worry about custody, safety, or how leaving will impact their children or dependents. Some fear being reported to child protective services or losing parental rights.

• Disability or access needs – Survivors who rely on their partner for physical care, communication support, or daily tasks may face additional risks or barriers.

• Love, hope, or shared history – Some survivors still love the person who hurt them, believe the abuse will stop, or feel tied to shared memories, goals, or trauma bonding.

• Shame or guilt – Survivors may feel embarrassed, blame themselves, or be told it is their fault. Cultural or religious stigma can also play a role.

• Fear of not being believed – Survivors who are disabled, neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, undocumented, or part of a marginalized community may worry that others will minimize their experience or side with the abuser.

• Lack of support – Not everyone has a safe place to go, someone to stay with, or access to a shelter. Systemic failures and past experiences with institutions may also make survivors hesitant to seek help.

Staying does not mean a survivor is weak, passive, or unaware. It means they are surviving in the way that feels safest or most possible at that time.

No one deserves abuse. And no one should be judged for how they cope with it.

To explore safety planning, legal options, or emotional support, you can reach out to:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline

• WomensLaw.org

• Workplaces Respond

• Love Is Respect

Domestic and dating violence can leave lasting effects—physically, emotionally, socially, and economically. But every survivor’s experience is different. Some feel intense distress. Others go numb, shut down, or appear unaffected. Whether you were in a long-term relationship or harmed by someone you briefly dated, your response is valid. There is no single way to respond to being hurt by someone you trusted.

The effects of domestic and dating violence

According to the CDC, National Domestic Violence Hotline, and RAINN, survivors may experience:

• Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts

• Sleep disturbances, including nightmares or insomnia

• Hypervigilance, fear responses, or difficulty relaxing

• Depression, anxiety, or panic attacks

• Shame, guilt, or self-blame

• Body-based symptoms such as pain, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, or fatigue

• Dissociation—feeling detached from one’s body or surroundings

• Substance use to numb or cope with the pain

• Disordered eating or changes in appetite

• Self-harm or suicidal thoughts

• Reproductive coercion—such as sabotaging birth control, pressuring pregnancy, or removing protection without consent—as well as unplanned pregnancy or STIs if sexual abuse is involved.

These are possible trauma responses—not signs of weakness or exaggeration. Some survivors experience many of them. Others experience few or none.

Impacts on daily life, school, and work

Survivors may struggle to concentrate, stay organized, or feel safe in everyday environments. In schools and colleges, this can lead to:

• Missed classes

• Academic withdrawal or failure

• Loss of scholarships or delayed graduation

In the workplace, survivors may:

• Avoid shifts, meetings, or certain locations

• Transfer departments or leave jobs entirely

• Be pushed out through retaliation, gossip, or poor evaluations

These impacts are often overlooked—especially when the harm is minimized or hidden behind public appearances.

Effects on children

Children may also be deeply affected by domestic violence, even if the abuse is not directed at them. According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, children who witness violence in the home may:

• Show fear, withdrawal, or aggression

• Struggle with concentration, school performance, or social connection

• Experience sleep disturbances, emotional distress, or physical symptoms

• Feel guilt, responsibility, or confusion about what is happening

Young people may be used as tools of control—such as being threatened, turned against the other parent, or drawn into harmful dynamics. Even babies and toddlers are affected by tension, yelling, and fear in the home.

Some survivors worry about custody, divorce, or child protection, especially if their partner threatens to take the children or claims the survivor is unstable. While laws vary, it is important to know that courts are supposed to prioritize the child’s best interest—including their safety. Survivors can seek legal guidance from WomensLaw.org or speak with an advocate through the National Domestic Violence Hotline to better understand their rights.

Reactions others find confusing

Some survivors:

• Stay in contact with the person who harmed them

• Talk about what happened with a flat tone or nervous laughter

• Change their story or remember events out of order

• Minimize or question whether it “counts” as abuse

These reactions are normal. Trauma affects memory, speech, and emotional processing. Many survivors experience “fawning”—a survival response where someone tries to stay safe by appeasing or connecting with the abuser. According to Love Is Respect and the National Domestic Violence Hotline, abuse often includes moments of affection and remorse that make it harder to leave.

Understanding trauma and neurodivergence

Some survivors are already aware they are neurodivergent before experiencing domestic or dating violence. For others, trauma brings lifelong patterns into sharper focus—such as sensory sensitivity, executive dysfunction, or nonlinear communication—that may lead to a new understanding of their neurotype.

Still others experience lasting changes after the harm, such as PTSD, dissociation, or hypervigilance. These responses may become a form of acquired neurodivergence—not because the survivor was born neurodivergent, but because their nervous system adapted in order to survive. These changes are just as real, and they deserve the same care and respect.

At the same time, some survivors do not experience trauma-related shifts or identify as neurodivergent at all. That does not make their story any less real. What matters is that every survivor is supported based on what they do experience—not what someone else expects them to.

Some examples of how these experiences may overlap—but come from different places:

• Sensory overload may be part of autism, ADHD, or another lifelong neurotype. Trauma can heighten these responses—especially if certain sensations are tied to the harm—but rarely causes brand-new sensory sensitivities unless directly connected to the event.

• Delayed speech, flat tone, repetition, or scripting may reflect neurodivergent communication styles—but can also result from dissociation, shutdown, or emotional overload. These patterns often emerge when someone is trying to regulate or make sense of what happened.

• Difficulty concentrating after trauma is often linked to hypervigilance—the brain staying on high alert for danger. In ADHD, attention challenges stem from different neurological wiring. Both can happen at once. Both are real. Both deserve support.

When care is not both trauma-informed and neurodiversity-affirming, survivors may be misdiagnosed, dismissed, or retraumatized—especially if their experiences do not fit someone else’s model of healing. Whether someone is navigating a lifelong neurotype, trauma-related adaptations, or both, they deserve support that honors who they are and how they process.

Every survivor deserves care that respects their sensory needs, communication style, and emotional reality—without trying to force them into a recovery model that does not fit.

Every survivor’s story matters

Some heal quickly.

Others carry pain for years.

Some go to therapy.

Others write, pray, create, or connect with nature.

Some never report.

Others are not sure how to describe what happened.

If something harmed your safety, peace, or sense of self—it matters.

You do not need to prove it, relive it, or explain it perfectly to deserve support.

There is no right way to heal. No wrong survivor. No expiration date on your truth.

Music-based support at Voicelore

At Voicelore, we offer free, music-based programs for survivors (ages 18 and up) of domestic and dating violence. Our yearlong support program, The Reclaiming, invites survivors to explore healing through singing, songwriting, piano, or music production. No musical experience will be required. The program is designed to be trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming, and adaptable for survivors with a wide range of sensory, communication, and access needs.

For those who are not ready for a full program or want to ease in more gently, The Murmuring offers informal connection through creative gatherings, drop-in events, and community support. Whether you are rebuilding your sense of self, grieving what you endured, or simply searching for safe community—you are welcome there. And whether you heal through music, movement, stillness, or connection, your voice belongs in that space.

Sources for further reading:

• CDC: Intimate Partner Violence

• Love Is Respect: Warning Signs of Abuse

• WomensLaw.org – Custody & Legal Support

• National Child Traumatic Stress Network – Effects on Children

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: Is Abuse Really a Cycle?

Many perpetrators of domestic or dating violence never face legal or institutional consequences. Survivors may be disbelieved, blamed, or pressured to stay silent. Meanwhile, the people who harmed them often continue their lives with little interruption—sometimes harming others in the process.

According to the CDC, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men report experiencing physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking by an intimate partner. But most cases are never prosecuted. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, survivors face immense barriers to reporting—ranging from fear of retaliation or custody loss, to emotional attachment, financial dependence, or lack of access to safe housing.

When survivors do report, they are often met with disbelief or inaction. Police may dismiss the violence as “a personal matter,” and prosecutors may decline to file charges due to “insufficient evidence” or concern about how a jury might respond to the survivor’s behavior. Survivors of color, disabled survivors, and those in LGBTQ+ relationships are especially likely to be ignored, criminalized, or retraumatized.

In schools and workplaces, many perpetrators continue participating in programs or holding their jobs even after multiple reports. According to a 2019 AAU Campus Climate Survey, more than half of undergraduate students who experience dating violence or stalking never report it to school officials. And even when they do, most institutions choose restorative approaches—or no action at all—especially when the perpetrator is well-liked, influential, or positioned as a “leader.”

Some people cause harm without recognizing their behavior as abusive. They may have grown up around control, threats, or violence and never learned what a healthy relationship looks like. Others may justify their actions as “normal” or claim they were acting out of stress, insecurity, or love. But lack of awareness does not erase responsibility. That is why prevention must include education and culture change, not just punishment. People need to learn what respect, autonomy, and emotional safety truly mean—long before they are in a position to hurt someone else.

What we believe

Abuse is never harmless. Whether it is deliberate, normalized, or misunderstood, it causes real harm that survivors carry in their bodies, minds, relationships, and futures.

Some people who cause harm do not recognize it as abuse—especially if they were never taught what healthy relationships look like. But intention does not erase impact. Survivors deserve safety, and people who use control or violence must be held accountable, regardless of what they believed at the time.

At Voicelore, we believe the systems that excuse or ignore abuse must be changed. We also believe that true prevention means teaching people how to connect without controlling, how to care without overpowering, and how to disagree without causing fear.

That is why our advocacy branch, The Resounding, will raise awareness and drive cultural change through music—especially in the music industry, schools, and public media. This work will be shaped by both survivors and allies. Together, we will challenge the conditions that allow abuse to continue—and create new ways of speaking, listening, and responding.

The Resounding will include:

• Music releases that name harm, reclaim power, and offer healing truths

• Tours and showcases that center survivor artistry and collective expression

• Soundtracks for action—licensed for use in survivor-led films, PSAs, podcasts, or stage works

• K–12 presentations that use music to explore boundaries, self-worth, and healthy relationships

• College outreach that blends music and dialogue to support student survivors and challenge institutional silence

• Songs that mobilize—written to power movements, petitions, and protests
  

These efforts will be paired with funding for prevention-focused music education. Through our partnership with Once Upon a Voice—an online studio that teaches singing, songwriting, piano, and music production through a trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming lens—Voicelore will support student projects and scholarships that help young people build the confidence, language, and creativity to express themselves and respect others.

Repair is possible, but only if we stop minimizing harm.

Survivors deserve protection. Communities deserve better. And future generations deserve to know that love and violence are not the same.